Around most people, especially before I gained an honestly pretty unusual amount of power in the world, I did not feel comfortable or motivated to "be myself" because at least one of the following seemed true, at least without a lot of effort:
- they'd not be genuinely interested in me / my interests
- they'd not understand me / my interests
- they'd not be useful for me / my interests
- revealing me / my interests would result in harm (emotional or otherwise) to me or them
(and these factors are often related)
it would be a waste of time and energy, upsetting, and/or put someone at harm